jazz, blues

My voice capacities and improvization will possibly suit a jazz or
blues style of singing...Singing jazz or blues is when I am a the
happiest..One more thing common bn Mr.U and me...:))

cocoon

I think I need to go back into the cocoon now....Maybe, soon, be a
butterfly that flies off to the gardens?

Crying far too much

Thanks to crying each time I recall all the nastiness of Mr.green and
also crying too much after watching each episode of oshin...TOO MUCH
CRYING...I can't do this, Tears are immunoglobulins and loss of tears
means less immunity and given that I already have certain health
issues, low immunity is NOT a good thing AT ALL...
Was reminded of jan 2011, when My mom underwent NEUROSURGERY...I was
crying before and during and after the surgery...I needed so much
emotional support that I actually tried talking to mr.green ...after
swearing that it is only appropriate that I LOSE ALL CONTACT WITH
HIM...Funnily, when I shared the information of my mom's surgery with
him..THE TWISTED IDIOT...slowly opened his shitty mouth and said
something akin to (here I am paraphrasing from memory) " I am not sure
you are telling the truth...Maybe you are making it all up"
hmmmm..sigh....What a weathered jaded twisted mind would surmise that
someone would make up stories about their mother undergoing
NEUROSURGERY...seriously...WTF....
WHEN I SAY I FELT EMOTIONALLY ABUSED BY HIM THE WHOLE TIME THAT I
INTERACTED WITH HIM, this is what I am talking about

Knocked myself out

Knocked myself out with dropping some serious dough on books..I used
to spend so much money on books -both college books and non-college
books while in medschool....STopped at some point when I started using
blogs as my reading material..
ON a whim today..took a DAY LONG SHOPPING TRIP..spent a couple of
hours at the book store..bought MANY books..some gifts for parents and
then sat at the cafe and drank a strawberry crush which btw was no
good(what can an accomplished chef do but like only their finicky
concoctions, :))
Yeah....Spent so much of the money I took along on the books that I
was left with not that much money for the groceries that I intended
to buy...So, all the things I picked up at the grocery store, I left
behind at the counter and went back home to get more money..I come
back and the shop assistants had already eyed my meticulous choices
and flicked some products... LOL..so yeah

Daughter and mother in law

The in-law relationships are very CONFLICTED in any society where
women are FORCED to not have a job outside of the home and so they end
up being so financially dependant on the men of the family , that they
end up personalities that have inculcated habits of emotional
manipulation of the male members of the family and oftentimes
instigating the male members against other female members of the
family who interfere with their self-interest..
Solution to this?
EDUCATE FEMALE CHILDREN, ALLOW THEM TO EARN THEIR OWN LIVING OUTSIDE
OF THEIR HOME..That way, they don't end up as MANIPULATIVE BEGGAR
HOUSEWIVES of the family.

Ridiculously

The first episode of OSHIN starts of with the male slapping the
female..A true representation of how subjugated women are in that
society..where the fuck are the EQUAL RIGHTS?

oshin

The comments on the oshin videos on Youtube made me realize that the
TV series impacted NOT just me, but so many other children of the same
age group all over the world in the same deep manner...I cried just
reading the comments there
I am so so happy that My looooooongest desire to re-watch oshin is
being fulfiled now....Now that I see it as an adult, I seem to notice
so many things that I never bothered to pay attention as a child
Japan for sure is picturesque
Anyways, By the time I ended up watching seven episodes, I had already
cried atleast 11 times..I cried so much and so loudly at the scene
where oshin's father runs on the river bank as she leaves for her
babysitting job.
I also cried each time the granny cried ..reminded me of my granny
Looks like I am missing my family.....tears flowing just as I type this

oshin more details

All I could remember  of  watching the TV SERIES "oshin"  from my childhood were

a/radish rice

b/wooden slippers

c/nappy washing in the river

d/kayo and a scene where an adolescent oshin serves her some brownish
black (alien looking) dessert to kayo

e/some old lady using this wooden abacus

f/paper doors being slided often

Now, 20 years later when I am rewatching it,
First off I realize that I am 33....whoa....not bad..
still feel like a kid, but so many things have happened to me
 since when I first watched oshin at the age of 11 or 10

When I first watched it, I now recall that i watched the US ENGLISH
DUBBED VERSION OF IT.. Now I am watching the japanese version with english subtitles.
A totally different experience...both in terms of language but also
perception because I am noticing so many more things that a child
normally may not perceive or understand or notice...Me as an adult,
watching it again, I am noticing a lot.

I am blogging along as I am watching the series, coz each succeeding episode
stands the danger of erasing the previous episode details

THINGS I NOTICED WHEN I WATCHED OSHIN THIS TIME AROUND ARE

a/The mother of oshin actually went and sat in the snowy river , in an
attempt to ABORT her child (much like American women trying to hurl
themselves off the stairs to abort a pregnancy that was FORCED upon
them pre EQUAL RIGHTS era -which btw stands the danger of getting
erased if American women don't continuously fight for equal rights)

b/The grandma keeps constantly saying that she can't eat coz she is
old and useless ( If you watch japanese movies that are set in an
ancient time period, there are dialogues where one member of the
family is asking other members to eat them up coz there is such
scarcity of food-geezus -cannibalism in the time of famine?)


c/I also notice ,
Radish rice,
snow,
the picturesque beauty of japan,
an era before plastic coated nappies,

and suddenly

 My thoughts go to "what does japan do for garbage disposal ?"  given
that the current day population continue to breed like rabbits,
use a lot of plastic containers that are SINGLE USE and
there is such electronic waste too and
their tiny islands have so much of POPULATION PRESSURE ,
IT BOGGLES MY MIND... Surely they are dumping in the sea and surely it will all float and reach the US WEST COAST , much like how all the fukushima nuclear disaster waste has reached US westcoast after a year

d/Gender discrimination has been a big part of the history of japan
and it still continues to this day, more so in the form of women
speaking and giggling like children instead of confidentaly talking in
adult voices, manga porn and japanese school girl porn and short
skirted jap women being groped in subways and so on and so forth

e/child labor was rampant as recent as 1907 ? really?Hmmmm

f/The ceramics and darkwood tables and cabinets, the paper doors, the
beautiful gardens all are to die for

g/In the first episode of this series, they show scenes from 1983 and
there is this scene where this women first pours out tea from a
THERMOS FLASK into a ceramic tea pot and then proceeds to immediately
pour it into drinking teacups..I am like, " she could have directly
poured it from the thermos to the cups and saved up on washing more
dishes...LOL"

p.s:As I watched further episodes I realize that they use thermosflask to have HOT WATER ready and on hand and then they have leaves in the ceramic pot and then merely pour the hotwater from flask into ceramic pot and thus ensuring FRESHNESS in the brew...mmm...good idea that!