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okay,ten years ago,I really and wholeheartedly thought that he is the one for me.
To the point of showing his pics to my mom and what not..
Even to this day,when i close my eyes and think of him as just a boy with no strings attached and me as just a girl with no strings attached,I FEEL LIKE WE ARE RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER..
which is why,in 2007,when he got married to someone else ,I CRIED..i cried and i felt like he did a mistake.
SEVEN YEARS after that,he is NOW SINGLE,i am now single too...
but see,he was married...he has a kid from that marriage...
and now,we both are single AND YET,i can't be with him,BECAUSE,
I don't want to be someone's consolation prize
I CAN'T BE SOMEONE'S SECOND WIFE...
I CAN'T BE THAT..ever,,,
if i have to become someone's wife..I HAVE TO THEIR FIRST AND ONLY WIFE...
so,yeah,the man whom i thought was the love of my life and a perfect match for me..IS NOW SINGLE and now wants to be with me..AND I am single too,
BUT I CAN'T BE WITH HIM,,because..i was right there for him to have,when he went and married someone else...
so,yeah,I CAN'T BE WITH SOMEONE ,who kinda thought someone else was a better match for him than i was...
sad..
sad
sad
sad sad
coz...when we were both together..for that wee bit of time.I THOUGHT we were perfect for each other...
we still are perfect for each other,BUT ,we can't be together..coz,
FOR SEVEN YEARS,he left me wondering,what went wrong.
i can't be a consolation prize.i can't be a second wife..
i can't be with a divorced man...
i can't be with a man who already had a kid from someone else.
I CAN'T DO THAT..for my own sake and for the sake of my own self esteem.
sO,YEAH,BACK THEN,you were just a boy and i was a just a girl AND WE WERE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER..
we are still the same boy and girl, and we are stil perfect for each other,,but see,
KIDS cannot just be ignored...YOUR KID is a constant reminder of those seven years and that darling kid is such a sweetheart too..I can't be a step mom to that kid.I could be his darling aunt yes,but i can't be his stepmom,,HARD TO DIGEST FOR ME MYSELF.i can't be that.
and I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT THIRD WHEEL..ever.
even if ,now ,it is just you and me,two sad worn out wheels,I still am always going to be that third wheel when it comes to that equation with your ex wife ,and your kid with her and that solid bond that the kid kinda sealed in some way for you both.
even if now ,you are single..WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER..COZ,see,I WAS RIGHT THERE..and we were perfect for each other and you ruined that perfection by marrying someone else..
NOW ,OUR COMING TOGETHER IS ONLY SAD..accidental and sad.
i don't want that
I WANT NEW LOVE.
i want to be with someone to whom i will be the first and only wife ever..
I WANT SOMEONE with no kids and no reminders from the past.
I want someone with no baggage
i can't be with someone who chose someone else,when i was right there and available.,though that someone is possibly perfect for me..
:(((
sad
sad
sad
And yet,I loved you and i love you and I think you are the sweetest man kid i ever knew...the man boy,the sweet simpleton,the smart child.
HUGS,KISSES..i will always love you.
AND NOW,THIS IS MAKING ME CRY...BECAUSE, i can't say no to talk to you and i can't stop being your shoulder to cry and yet,I HAVE TO stop myself real hard FROM GETTING INVOLVED...
crying now
Do you know how much i cried when you said on messenger that you proposed to her?
I BET YOU HAD NO IDEA..
And now you are here,afraid to ask me out and it is written all over your face.
and yet,I HAVE TO SAY NO,say no to the love of my life.
This is what you call a PREDICAMENT.
The stolen phone calls,the birthday wishes,the long voice mails,the silences,the sharing of stories,they are all coming back to my mind in a flash and this is sad and it hurts in a sweet chiding painful way.
tags: #Mr_purple, #Physics , #love ,#love_story , #life , #childhood_love , #EMOTIONS, #young_love , #sharing , #bond
