A small note for mr.u

Heya,
I know! It has been years now since I last emailed you.I possibly
might have sent you a few notes here and there,but no emails.
Not emailing you anymore was a conscious decision I made.
IT WAS A GOOD decision.
Anyways,
Just wanted to write a small note and leave it on my blog for you to read.
emailing you again is not a road i want to go down on again ever.

So,yeah,
here goes the small note
1/Thanks for the kind thoughts

2/thanks for still considering and respecting my opinions

3/hugs

4/hmmmm.it feels so odd to address a blog to you here .I feel so odd
and abnormal doing this on such a public platform

5/I may not email you anymore but that DOESN'T MEAN,you are not dear
to my soul.I might be stoic to you now,but i do want good things to
happen to you.

6/i want you to TRY HARDER to become the man I WOULD OPENLY GUSH
ABOUT,SOMEONE I CAN BE PROUD OF,k?

7/hugs..This feels so odd,writing like this on an open blog for
everyone else to read as well

8/way back I had asked you to buy me gifts from the country you were
visitng then.tatami mats and ceramic pots.I wanted you to buy them and
keep them in your apartment till i can come around and take them when
i visit you.

Sadly,THAT VISIT NEVER HAPPENED so far.
five years down the lane,that apartment has already been sold,you got
older,did some more mistakes and well,you are back in that same
country for a visit.

I have the Same request all over again,small tatami mats,stonewear
ceramics and a black and white cotton five dollar kimono.BUY them and
keep them buried in the bottom of a dresser drawer somewhere AND IF
FATE HAS US MEETING,then,I will take those gifts from you,k?

9/hugs

10/more advice now.Stop eating peanut butter like a snack.Learn to
make quick healthy snacks instead.Buy fresh foods and stock your
pantry and refrigerator.and experiment with those fresh
ingredients.try new recipes..cook from scratch.use vegetables in your
recipes.eat fruits...k?

11/some more advice.Remember the time when you were a young man and
NEVER DRANK..Honestly?that is the young boy i was in love with,because
he was so much like me...I grew up,you grew up.I grew old,you grew
old..and you have changed so much as a person...REGRESSED
,infact.Anyways,long story short.STOP DRINKING ALCOHOL.

12/watch your posture.I know, i know.YOU ARE TALLER THAN average and
hence,each time you talk to others,you kinda need to hunch down and
look down.I GET THAT.
but still,DON'T HUNCH...
watch your posture ...while walking,walk tall,walk straight,have a
straight upper back.. While sitting,have a straight lower back,don't
hunch.sit straight.

13/STop watching porn so much...PORN essentially ruined your mindset
..totally.Stop using porn as a stress buster ...instead..try to find
out the real cause of stress and try to correct it...Porn objectifies
and commodifies and exploits financially desperate girls and I WANT
YOU TO BE NO PART OF THAT...

14/Stop eating sugared cereals.YOU ALREADY HAVE SPACES BETWEEN YOUR
TEETH..and milk contributes to teeth rotting..you are 36 now,,and
teeth are not getting any younger.Time to eliminate processed food
from your diet. So,count chocula is out of your diet...k?

15/Brush and floss your teeth each night before going to
sleep..again,neither of us is getting any older.I found out the hard
way about how much brushing and flossing is important to keep teeth
healthy.I want you to be incharge of your oral hygeine.k?and
yeah,floss the RIGHT WAY,,

16/Shampoo your hair every other day.YOU HAVE THE SAME SCALP and face
skin type as i do.yEAH,use your fingertips to scratch the scalp while
you shampoo.Don't use shampoos with conditioner.

17/Take a shower prior to going to sleep.helps me get better sleep and
I want you to get some better sleep each night too,k?hugs(look,the
fact that I am taking so much time writing this blog entry MUST AFFIRM
to you the fact that I DO CARE about you.k?)

18/Do your own laundry.do not make the housekeeper or dry cleaners
clean your clothes.we must all learn to CLEAN UP AFTER OURSELVES no
matter how many billions we make in life,k?

19/clean your own toilet.If you are sharing the toilet with someone
else,both of you must share the toilet cleaning duties,alternately.
Don't make OTHER PEOPLE who are not using that toilet to CLEAN YOUR
TOILET...the worst unethical thing to do is MAKE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING
CLEAN AFTER YOUR FILTH.I clean my own toilet,you must do the same.k?

20/hugs.the height difference is making these hugs difficult.stands on
step stool ,so that you don't need to hunch while you hug..:)) HUGS
AND KISSES.

21/i AM NOT going to advice you on your love life-in specific.
But ,all I am going to say is,MASTURBATE ENOUGH,so that you don't make
decisions based on sexual frustration.

Also,don't make love choices based on LONELINESS..
.I personally believe that BEING LONELY AND CELIBATE is so much better
than being with someone who is NOT EMOTIONALLY GOOD FOR YOU or someone
who is not INTELLECTUALLY STIMULATING for you..

YOU ARE CEREBRAL,I am even more cerebral AND for people like
us...TRUST ME,the wrong person can ruin our head...AND do a lot of
damage.

I can't personally come and protect you and prevent you from making mistakes...
it is ironic sometimes when I want you to NOT MAKE THE SAME KIND OF
MISTAKES I HAVE MADE IN LOVE AND I CONTINUE TO MAKE THEM TOO...
so yeah,,sigh..whatever...I just don't want you to get Jaded BECAUSE
OF YOUR LOVE MISTAKES,K?I sure am getting jaded due to my past and
present mistakes.

22/hugs...HUGS AND SPOONING so work,no?

23/btw,k,because i am a painter and because i like sketching and
because i like staring at skies and birds and mountains for hours on
end ,,I would like for a kitchen deck to be built at your place(with
hopes that SOME DAY, I might pay you a visit)...I would like to paint
and take pictures and vegetate on your deck...and maybe we both can
lie down on the deck and ARGUE..a lil bit more..one day,if fate
permits!k?

24/yeah,don' eat to the brim just before laying down to sleep..it
regurgitates back to the pharynx and then ,NO TINY TABLEts HELP to
prevent that...the trick is to eat hours before you lay down to
sleep.That way,FOOD IS ready to be GASTRIC EMPTIED into duodenum AND
THUS ,won't regurgitate back.

25/yeah,before I totally forget,Don't be insecure about your looks and
don't be overly vain either...I see bouts of UNDEREATING TO GET
THINNER,,which is Alarming me...COME ON..you are a wise man..what
happened to the wise sage boy I once fell in love with?....what the
fuck...get a grip,eat well,but don't overeat like a pig.and more than
anything,eat healthy food.

26/hugs...what else....I don't know...take care and yeah,no,I DON'T
HATE YOU ...i just feel a DISCONNECT,is all...k?hugs.best
wishes,cheers.

Tags: mr_u, love, love_lost , old_love, lover_notes , disconnect,
sadness, goodbyes_are_tough, advice, sharing_life